John Cooper Clarke

FRIDAY 1ST NOVEMBER 2013

7.00pm - 10.00pm

£20.00


The Poet Laureate of Punk returns to Glasgow for a specil show at the SWG3 venue on Kelvinhaugh St.

SWG3 – Studio Warehouse, 100 Eastvale Place, Glasgow, G3 8QG.

==========================

Like a Night Club in the morning, you’re the bitter end.
Like a recently disinfected shit-house, you’re clean round the bend.
You give me the horrors
too bad to be true
All of my tomorrow’s
are lousy coz of you.

You put the Shat in Shatter
Put the Pain in Spain
Your germs are splattered about
Your face is just a stain

You’re certainly no raver, commonly known as a drag.
Do us all a favour, here… wear this polythene bag.

You’re like a dose of scabies,
I’ve got you under my skin.
You make life a fairy tale… Grimm!

People mention murder, the moment you arrive.
I’d consider killing you if I thought you were alive.
You’ve got this slippery quality,
it makes me think of phlegm,
and a dual personality
I hate both of them.

Your bad breath, vamps disease, destruction, and decay.
Please, please, please, please, take yourself away.
Like a death a birthday party,
you ruin all the fun.
Like a sucked and spat our smartie,
you’re no use to anyone.
Like the shadow of the guillotine
on a dead consumptive’s face.
Speaking as an outsider,
what do you think of the human race

You went to a progressive psychiatrist.
He recommended suicide…
before scratching your bad name off his list,
and pointing the way outside.

You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart.
You’re heading for a breakdown,
better pull yourself apart.

Your dirty name gets passed about when something goes amiss.
Your attitudes are platitudes,
just make me wanna piss.

What kind of creature bore you
Was is some kind of bat
They can’t find a good word for you,
but I can…
TWAT.

www.johncooperclarke.com

Over 18s only

Buy Tickets

Not available online at this time


SWG3

100 Eastvale Place
Glasgow
Lanarkshire
United Kingdom
G3 8QG

http://www.swg3.tv

Venue Details



TUE 24 MAY 2016
Mothers
+ support
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£7.00
WED 25 MAY 2016
No Zu
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£9.00
THU 26 MAY 2016
Horror My Friend
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£6.00
SAT 28 MAY 2016
Brownbear - 'Stop The World' single launch
+ special guests
Stereo, GlasgowDoors 7.00pm£8.50
SUN 29 MAY 2016
Oh Pep!
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£7.00
THU 2 JUN 2016
BC Camplight
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£8.00
FRI 3 JUN 2016
Zyna Hel, Hausfrau & Zorya
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£6.00
Dr John Cooper Clark
Simon Day (The Fast Show)
O2 ABC, GlasgowDoors 7pm £20.00
SAT 4 JUN 2016
Kate Jackson & The Wrong Moves (ex-Long Blondes)
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£8.00
SAT 11 JUN 2016
Treacherous Orchestra
The Art School, GlasgowDoors 7.00pm£14.00
SUN 12 JUN 2016
Yung
Nice N Sleazy, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£7.00
Chris T-T & Billy Liar
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£8.00
MON 13 JUN 2016
Olga Bell
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£6.50
THU 16 JUN 2016
Mbongwana Star
CCA, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£15.00
FRI 17 JUN 2016
Braids
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£11.00
SUN 19 JUN 2016
Howe Gelb (Giant Sand)
Previewing future standards from his next album.
Stereo, GlasgowDoors 7.00pm£15.00
TUE 21 JUN 2016
The Melvins
+ special guests
The Art School, GlasgowDoors 7.00pm£20.00
FRI 24 JUN 2016
Audacity
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£7.50
SAT 25 JUN 2016
PAWS
The Spook School & Adam Stafford
Stereo, GlasgowDoors 7.00pm£10.00
THU 30 JUN 2016
Cristobal and the Sea
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£7.50
FRI 1 JUL 2016
Tom Hingley & The Kar-pets
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£15.00
WED 20 JUL 2016
Martin Creed
Poetry Club, SWG3, GlasgowDoors 8.00pm£11.50
MON 25 JUL 2016
Bright Light Bright Light
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£10.00
SAT 30 JUL 2016
The Fall
Oran Mor, GlasgowDoors 7.00pm£25.00
FRI 5 AUG 2016
The Anhoress
CCA, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£14.00
FRI 12 AUG 2016
SULK
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£6.50
FRI 26 AUG 2016
Blazin' Fiddles
Oran Mor, GlasgowDoors 7.00pm£15.00
WED 31 AUG 2016
Karl Blau
Hug & Pint, Glasgow7:30pm£9.00
MON 5 SEP 2016
Frankie Cosmos
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7:30pm£8.00
WED 7 SEP 2016
Pinegrove
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£8.50
FRI 9 SEP 2016
Roddy Woomble performing 'My Secret is my Silence'
Oran Mor, GlasgowDoors 7.00pmSOLD OUT