John Cooper Clarke

FRIDAY 1ST NOVEMBER 2013

7.00pm - 10.00pm

£20.00


The Poet Laureate of Punk returns to Glasgow for a specil show at the SWG3 venue on Kelvinhaugh St.

SWG3 – Studio Warehouse, 100 Eastvale Place, Glasgow, G3 8QG.

==========================

Like a Night Club in the morning, you’re the bitter end.
Like a recently disinfected shit-house, you’re clean round the bend.
You give me the horrors
too bad to be true
All of my tomorrow’s
are lousy coz of you.

You put the Shat in Shatter
Put the Pain in Spain
Your germs are splattered about
Your face is just a stain

You’re certainly no raver, commonly known as a drag.
Do us all a favour, here… wear this polythene bag.

You’re like a dose of scabies,
I’ve got you under my skin.
You make life a fairy tale… Grimm!

People mention murder, the moment you arrive.
I’d consider killing you if I thought you were alive.
You’ve got this slippery quality,
it makes me think of phlegm,
and a dual personality
I hate both of them.

Your bad breath, vamps disease, destruction, and decay.
Please, please, please, please, take yourself away.
Like a death a birthday party,
you ruin all the fun.
Like a sucked and spat our smartie,
you’re no use to anyone.
Like the shadow of the guillotine
on a dead consumptive’s face.
Speaking as an outsider,
what do you think of the human race

You went to a progressive psychiatrist.
He recommended suicide…
before scratching your bad name off his list,
and pointing the way outside.

You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart.
You’re heading for a breakdown,
better pull yourself apart.

Your dirty name gets passed about when something goes amiss.
Your attitudes are platitudes,
just make me wanna piss.

What kind of creature bore you
Was is some kind of bat
They can’t find a good word for you,
but I can…
TWAT.

www.johncooperclarke.com

Over 18s only


Buy Tickets

Not available online at this time


SWG3

100 Eastvale Place
Glasgow
Lanarkshire
United Kingdom
G3 8QG

http://www.swg3.tv

Venue Details



SAT 30 JUL 2016
The Fall
Oran Mor, GlasgowDoors 7.00pmSOLD OUT
TUE 2 AUG 2016
Young Legionnaire
+ guests
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 8.00pm£8.50
WED 3 AUG 2016
Sarah Hayes (Admiral Fallow)
Olympic Swimmers
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£7.00
FRI 5 AUG 2016
The Anhoress
CCA, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£14.00
SAT 6 AUG 2016
Scroobius Pip
Distraction Pieces Podcast (LIVE).
Stand Comedy Club, Edinburgh22.05£14.00
MON 8 AUG 2016
Scroobius Pip - Distraction Pieces Podcast (Live)
Oran Mor, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£14.00
Mairi Fenella, St.Dukes + Andrew Duncan
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£6.00
FRI 12 AUG 2016
SULK
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£6.50
FRI 26 AUG 2016
Blazin' Fiddles
Oran Mor, GlasgowDoors 7.00pm£15.00
Silver Apples
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£14.00
WED 31 AUG 2016
Karl Blau
Hug & Pint, Glasgow7:30pm£9.00
FRI 2 SEP 2016
Big Thief
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£9.00
MON 5 SEP 2016
Frankie Cosmos
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7:30pm£8.00
WED 7 SEP 2016
Pinegrove
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£8.50
FRI 9 SEP 2016
Roddy Woomble performing 'My Secret is my Silence'
Oran Mor, GlasgowDoors 7.00pmSOLD OUT
Naked
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£6.50
SAT 10 SEP 2016
Lionlimb
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£7.00
SUN 11 SEP 2016
Roddy Woomble performing "My Secret is my Silence"
Oran Mor, GlasgowDoors 7.00pm£15.50
MON 12 SEP 2016
Michele Stodart (The Magic Numbers)
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7:30pm£10.00
SAT 17 SEP 2016
Shield Patterns
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£5.00
SUN 18 SEP 2016
Howie Payne
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£9.00
THU 22 SEP 2016
Natalie McCool
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£6.50
MON 26 SEP 2016
Honeyblood
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7.30pmsold out
TUE 27 SEP 2016
Oscar
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£7.00
TUE 4 OCT 2016
Mitski
Stereo, GlasgowDoors 7.00pm£9.00
THU 6 OCT 2016
Stars Of The Lid
Oran Mor Auditorium, GlasgowDoors 7.00pm£20.00
Scott Fagan
Hug & Pint, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£15.00
FRI 7 OCT 2016
Skinny Lister
Nice N Sleazy, GlasgowDoors 7.30pm£11.00
TUE 11 OCT 2016
Dennis Locorriere Presents DR HOOK
Glasgow Royal Concert Hall, Glasgow£35.00
Swans
Oran Mor, GlasgowDoors 7.00pm£22.50
WED 12 OCT 2016
Dennis Locorriere Presents DR HOOK
Usher Hall, Edinburgh£35.00